Elisabeth´s blog

The Sun

The Sun

Patterns, imprinting, social upbringing….Old habits die hard.

 

Having invested many long years in the role of “strong woman” my reward is that everyone actually assumes that I am a strong and determined woman.
That strong and determined people also have a weak side becomes unfathomable, even for the person him or herself.

 
That there are days when things feel less good and the desire to curl up into a ball becomes overwhelming. That it feels as though you are walking on your knees in the desert, alone, tiny and afraid. To always be the strongest also means always standing alone, or feeling alone. No one else is as strong as you.
Family members, friends, neighbours, colleagues ….. everyone assumes that if you are a strong person you are always strong. Until exhaustion, burn out, collapse…
Entering a production with roles means all the roles are dependent on each other if the production is to be coherent. The strong role needs to have several people who bow to it. You cannot bow if there is no one to bow to.
A person who sees him or herself and is seen by others as strong, steps in, takes over and DOES. Because that is how it should be. Everyone else steps back because here is someone who WANTS to manage, to do, to organise and to fix.
And so the snowball rolls on. The role becomes more and more imprinted, characteristic and more and more difficult to step outside of to take a break.

 

There are two sides to the coin here too.
The strong person weeps on the quiet and finds it difficult to understand why “people” are not always able to keep going.
The “people” around him or her silently wonder how long he or she will be able to keep doing all this, that and the other. But it is probably best not to take a breather.
So, what should we do?

 

I turn to the sun for inspiration and help.
The sun provides heat and light to everyone on earth, inexhaustibly, every day.
The sun is there, but does not do anything else.
The sun does not launch meteorites at us to make us even hotter, even brighter or maybe even to give us our own little sun.
If the sun did that it would be very short sighted as it slowly but surely would get smaller and smaller and one day disappear.

 

So the sun inspires us.
I try to be like the sun.
I want to be there, I want to listen, I want to care, but I also need to do far from everything myself or carry everything on my own shoulders.

 

There are plenty of wise, strong people who would happily take a step forward if they only had a bit more space, if they had a bit more room, and if there were no meteor shower in the way.
The sun gives heat and light.
Who doesn’t love light and heat?
If I sit on the sofa I am doing nothing, but if I sit in the sun I am doing something, I am sunbathing.
If there is light and heat, there is not much more that needs to be done.

 

In which case I can enjoy simply being.

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